SURVIVORS OF THE ENDING: How Big Of A Backyard Do You Need To Live Off Of The Land?

OK, I couldn't resist sharing this. If Dani, Zoe, and their assorted companions wanted to settle down somewhere permanent and survive sans-scavenging, here's what they'd need (per four people).



I stumbled upon this nifty infographic at http://apocalypticthoughts.com/ but it originally came from http://1bog.org/. Coolness!

Dani's Ultimate Post-Apocalyptic Shopping Guide

Hey there survivors! So, I know you've been scrounging around in gross places looking for the things you need, but I'm here to help you find everything in slightly...cleaner...less rotten corpse-filled...safer places. I know, I know...you're thinking, "What places aren't corpse-filled these days?" I'm totally right, huh? I knew it! Anyway, check out my recs for finding the following things...you won't be disappointed!


Shoes and Clothing
Note to survivors: Keep in mind that you won't really be needing 5" stiletto boots and Armani dress shoes, guys and gals. Think practical. And comfortable. And durable. And absolutely NO crocks. That's just gross.

Hits:

• Outdoor recreation/sporting goods stores - Seriously. Everything you need in one spot, and nobody thought about it while they were vomiting to death.
• Department stores - Avoid actually going into the interior, enclosed parts of malls...trust me. Just stick to the satellite department stores. It's WAY too easy to get trapped by Crazies without an exit in site.

Misses:

• Big value stores (i.e., Kmart, Walmart, Target) - Totally picked over. I kid you not, this is where EVERYONE went when they were running out of, well, everything.
• Club stores (i.e., Costco) - Ditto. Besides, the selection is limited, unless you need a million fleece vests and pairs of fake UGGs.

Food

Note to survivors: The same rules of food sanitation that applied before the virus wiped out most folks apply now. Chicken that hasn't been refrigerated for 5 days is going to kill you just as dead as it would have before the virus. Plus, now there aren't any hospitals to pump your stomach and fill you with anti-whatevers. Eat smart or die dumb!

Hits:

• Hotels - I cannot recommend this enough. They have huge stores of packaged food for the mini bars. 
• Small town grocery stores - Pretty much everyone died before they could ransack the places. Go for it!
• Military bases - Tons of food that lasts forever, but WATCH OUT for soldiers-gone-crazy. Seriously. If you don't believe me, ask Zoe. 
• Club stores (i.e., Costco) - Think about it...it's pretty much a warehouse where regular people can buy things. CAUTION: You may be required to climb pretty high up on the shelves to get what you need. Also, if you have a gas mask, wear it...it smells nasty in there. All that meat and frozen food...
• Hiking and Outdoor equipment stores - Freeze dried food...YAY! Way healthy and doesn't rot or require refrigeration! 

Misses:

• Big town grocery stores - Picked over. Too many people. BIG waste of time!
• Value stores (i.e., Wallmart, Kmart, etc.) - See above under Shoes and Clothes.

Medicine & First Aide

Note to survivors: Pretty much anywhere that fills prescriptions but isn't an actual pharmacy has a fairly good supply of drugs and bandages. 

Hits:

• Club stores (i.e., Costco) - Way awesome find. Plus, you won't have to go searching for anymore for, well, ever. 
• Huge houses - More often than not, they've got fully stocked medicine cabinets. And cupboards. And drawers. And...

Misses:

• Hospitals and Doctor's offices - Totally disgusting. Don't even think about it.
• Pharmacies - Everyone and their brother and their uncle and their second cousin and their...

Fun Stuff

Note to survivors: It can get boring out there without all the TV, internet, and video games you're used to. Unless you've got the greatest solar and wind array ever, or a gazillion generators and gallons upon gallons of fuel, you're going to need to figure out some more energy efficient ways to have fun. Think about what people did 100 years ago to have fun? No? Nothing? Okay...go read Zoe's recs for Keeping Busy (Outdoors).

Hits:

• Bookstores - You can get the latest (and unfortunately last) Sookie Stackhouse book AND a helpful guide to foraging edible plants. How cool is that!?
• Amazon warehouse - Seriously, if you're lucky enough to be near one and you pass it up, your and idiot. Or a Crazy. Just saying...
• Other people's houses - Sometimes snooping is fun and fulfilling all by itself! You never know what you might find! Downside: You never know what you might find.

Misses:

• Electronics stores - Really? What are you going to use it for? How are you going to power it? Right? Right.
• Value stores - Didn't I already cover this like twelve times?

HAPPY SHOPPING (SCAVENGING) SURVIVORS! 

Eight-Step Program or How To Deal With Having An Ability

Discovering (or even suspecting) that you have an extraordinary, virus-initiated Ability can be quite a shock. Remember, you're not the only one effected by this development. As much as it impacts you, you're ability has an effects the people who care about you. So, whether you can read minds, sense emotions, or manipulate other people's brain chemistry, it's important to have a plan for accepting your fate and telling your loved ones about your brand spanking new post-apocalyptic Ability.

Here's the official Ending Survival Guide recommended eight-step program to accepting and controlling your Ability:

1. Admit that you have an Ability--that you have innate skills beyond those of the usual, pre-Ending human.

2. Believe that this evolution of humanity could restore the stability and sanity of the species.

3. Decide to use your life and your Ability to the survival of humanity.

4. Look inside yourself and see what character defects might force you to use your Ability to harm your fellow humans.

5. Admit to yourself and another human being the exact nature of your Ability.

6. Make a list of all people you care about and be willing to use your Ability to aid them.

7. Tell each of the people you listed about your Ability, wherever possible, except when doing so would injure them or others.

8. Take a personal inventory whenever possible, and when you find you've done wrong, promptly admit it.

Above all else, having an Ability is far better that not having one...in the world of The Ending, if you're Ability-free, you belong to the new sub-species, "The Crazies". Best of luck to you, survivors...

The Ten Essentials For Surviving The Ending

Hikers and backpackers are well aware of the classic "Ten Essentials," items which all outdoor adventurers keep handy to avoid any untimely deaths. Though it varies slightly depending on the source, here's a generally accepted list:

1. Map
2. Compass
3. Sunglasses and Sunscreen
4. Extra Clothing
5. Headlamp/Flashlight
6. First-aid Supplies
7. Firestarter
8. Matches
9. Knife
10. Extra Food

My husband and I are seasoned backcountry backpackers, but recently we learned the value of following this long-standing protocol. We headed out on a winter day-hike in Yosemite and, stupidly, brought only one of the ten essentials (sun glasses and sunscreen). Well, unless cell phones count as flashlights...then we brought two. The hike, it turned out, took several hours longer than planned and we had to skitter the final few miles down a snow-covered trail in the dark. Like, DARK dark. And COLD. At least the stars were pretty...

The point is, the Ten Essentials for outdoor adventurers are extremely, well, essential. Thus the name, duh. Should've known, right? At least we learned our lesson without dying the aforementioned untimely death.

So, what would be on the list of "Ten Essentials For Surviving The Ending"? Let's first consider the obstacles and dangers facing the survivors of that blasted virus:

1. Almost everyone is dead, so there's not a whole gang of folks with specialized skills to lean on. The survivors must fend for themselves.
2. ALL survivors are affected in one of two ways by the virus: a) they're totally nutso, or b) they've gone through spontaneous genetic mutation resulting in a preternatural ability.
3. Without humans to maintain things, the infrastructure we so readily depend on rapidly crumbles (i.e., electricity, gas, internet, phones, etc.).
4. Necessary supplies like food and clean water are no longer being produced or maintained, though with the drastically decreased population, plenty of packaged food is available for the taking. Shopping spree anyone?

Whether you're ex-military or ex-graduate student, you're going to need a few things to help sure you survive in the crazy new world, post-virus.

Ten Essentials (for surviving The Ending):

1. Water Purifier/Filter
2. Knife, Gun and Ammo
3. Stockpile of Packaged and Preserved Food
4. Medicine (antibiotics, anti-inflammatories, fever reducers, tetanus and rabies shots, EpiPens)
5. First Aid Supplies (especially for stabbings, breaks, and gun shots)
6. Portable Solar Panels and/or Solar-powered Generator
7. Maps (road and topographic) and Compass
8. Lighter/Flint & Steel and firestarter
9. All-weather Clothing and Boots
10. Tent (you never know when the crazies might run you out of your post-apocalyptic home)
(Bonus) Animal Companions!